Things Get Iffy: 4 Ways to Say "If" in Chinese

IF you're looking for a post that'll teach you four quick words in Chinese which all have the same meaning, this is the one!  Ok, so they don't have the exact same meaning, but close enough (like "fewer taxes!" and "taxes aplenty!" if you're a politician...).  The words we're going to talk about in this post all mean "if" in the general sense.  Each of the four words has it's own specific use, but these words are simple to learn and their usages are easily explained in English.

The four words for "if" in Chinese are explained in detail below.  You'll notice that  "jiǎrú" and "yàoshì" are often interchangeable, but in addition to being used in all of the situations where "jiǎrú" applies,  "yàoshì" can also be used in a way that "jiǎrú" cannot.



1.  rúguǒ 如果 if (on condition that)

 If X is done, then Y will happen.

X will happen if condition Y is met.


Examples: 
If (rúguǒ) you shave your beard, I'll go on a date with you.
If (rúguǒ) our country agrees to stop throwing potatoes at your country, will you stop referring to our queen as "Her Royal Fatness?"
If (rúguǒ) you write "I shouldn't have pulled the fire alarm" 500 hundred times, we won't expel you.


2.  jiǎrú 假如 if (supposing that)

Imagining/Theoretical; supposing X, Y would happen  

If X (which isn't true) were true, then Y.

Examples:
If (jiǎrú/yàoshì) ponies were hairless, would they still be cute?
If (jiǎrú/yàoshì) I were your mother, I'd be institutionalized by now.


3.  yàoshì   要是 if (supposing that/in case that)

Imagining/Theoretical; supposing X, Y would happen

If X (which isn't true) were true, then Y.

Examples:
If (jiǎrú/yàoshì) ponies were hairless, would they still be cute?
If (jiǎrú/yàoshì) I were your mother, I'd be institutionalized by now.

AND

X if situation Y (which is beyond our control) arises  

Examples:
If (yàoshì) it gets too cold out, we won't play in the sprinklers.
If (yàoshì) the monkeys revolt, we'll stay indoors.


4.  shìfǒu 是否 if (whether)

X whether or not (if) Y happens

Examples:

Who can say whether or not (shìfǒu) we should have eaten that moldy bread?

Do you know if (shìfǒu) John is planning to wear his chicken costume?

Now that we've learned the basics of these four "if" words, let's see if you can remember which "if" word to use within the context of the following sentences.  Note that you can see the correct Chinese "if" word by mousing over the word "if" in each sentence.  The answers are also at the very bottom of this post.



1.  IF we won the lotto, we'd quit our jobs and move to Tahiti.
2.  IF you cut my hair while I'm sleeping, I'll run your boxers up the flagpole.
3.  IF cows could talk, burgers would be made from pork.
4.  I don't know IF I can handle another snowpocalypse. 
5.  IF the temperature rises any more, the nuns might ditch their habits.
6.  IF we agree to stop releasing pigs in the school library, the dean will reverse our suspensions.

So there you have it.  A very "iffy" post.  I've tried to do my best to make this post accurate, but IF you happen to find any errors, please let me know!  Also, IF you're missing my sillier posts (and don't worry, there are more to come soon) why not reminisce via my Favorite Posts page?  And don't forget, you can always browse all of my posts via my archives which are listed at the right of the blog.

1. jiǎrú/yàoshì  2. rúguǒ  3. jiǎrú/yàoshì  4. shìfǒu  5. yàoshì  6. rúguǒ

Don't forget to check out this week's interactive vocabulary list.

Simple Household Items Part One: Livingroom

One of the best ways to build your Chinese vocabulary is to learn the names of objects that you use every day (straight jacket, velvet painting of Elvis, etc.).  Learning simple words that you can use regularly is part of the language learning lifestyle and a great way to make sure that what you learn will be remembered in the long term (or at least until your kids finally succeed in driving you crazy).  In this series of posts, we're going to learn the names for a variety of household items by discussing each room of the house separately.  This particular post will examine the living room.

First, we're going to go over our vocabulary words for this post.  I know some of you will probably skip right over them and dive into the next section (miscreants!) but try to control yourselves (use excessive force if you must) because having at least a basic idea of which words we're learning will help you get more out of the rest of this post.

The following are a few simple words for things found in the living room.  Try using these words often to keep from forgetting them (and because it'll confuse your kids - maybe you can drive them crazy first!).  Note that the vocabulary words are numbered and that their numbers correspond to the numbers on the arrows in the picture above.  You might find looking at the picture and trying to remember the Chinese words for each object a fun way to learn.  However, since I like to focus on learning via inference, you'll find another way to learn words later in this post.

1.  (yìfú) huà ("ee foo hwah") 一幅画 (a) picture (painting or drawing)

2.  (yígè) shāfā ("ee guh shah-fah") 一个沙发 (a) sofa

3.  (yìzhǎn) dēng ("ee john duhng")  一盏灯 (a) lamp

4.  (yíge) dēngzhào ("dung jaow")  灯罩 (a) lampshade

5.  (yìzhāng) zhuōzi ("ee jahng jwoh-dzuh") 一张桌子 (a) table

6.  (yìbǎ) yǐzi ("ee bah yee-dzuh") 一把椅子 (a) chair

7.  (yìtái) diànshì ("ee tie dyan-shih") 一台电视 (a) television

8.  (yíkuài) xiǎo dìtǎn ("ee kwhy shaow dee-tahn") 一块小地毯 (a) rug*

*this term refers to a small rug, like a mat.  To refer to "carpet" (which is what's in the picture, to be exact) the term is just "dìtǎn".  The word "xiǎo" means small, so when we say"rug" we're just saying "a small carpet".  There, you just got two vocab words for the price of one!

Now that you've read through the words (or skipped over them entirely - lets be honest with ourselves), I present to you a paragraph about this living room.  Your job is to read through the paragraph and try to remember/infer what the words in Chinese mean.  I've written them out in pinyin only, to make this easier and because I believe for the time being it's more beneficial to you that you learn to speak Chinese rather than just read characters.  If you get stuck on one of the words, you have two options.  You can either scroll back up to the vocab list above to see what the word means, or you can mouseover the word right there in the paragraph to get the English equivalent.  Try not to do either of these if you can infer the meaning from context, but don't be afraid to look it up if you don't.  Studies have shown that when learning words in second languages, looking up the meaning of a word in a dictionary helps a person to learn that word significantly better - which is the reason for this exercise.  Use the vocab list above as your "dictionary" if you need to.  Enjoy!

Living Room

The living room in the picture above has driven many an interior decorator to his grave.  What is this, the 80's?  The fabric on the shāfā makes me want to poke myself in the eye just so I don't have to look at it.  Perhaps turning off the dēng would make it look better?  At least when you're sitting on the shāfā watching the diànshì, you don't have to look at the shāfā. In fact, then you don't have to look at that ugly huà either.  It's almost as if someone closed their eyes in a room full of huà and just pointed to one, grabbed it, and designed an entire ugly room around it.  Depressing.  And how about that lovely moss green dìtǎn?  The zhuōzi even has a glass top so you can look right through it to see the beautiful dìtǎn below!  Could a person with a conscience possibly ask anyone to come visit them with a living room such as this?  One redeeming factor is that each dēng has a plain, white dēngzhào.  And if that isn't enough to bring you back from the brink of death-by-ugly, try slipping one of those dēngzhào right over your head.  Why avert your eyes when you can cover them completely!  In fact, if you sit yourself down in the red yǐzi, you won't be able to see much of the room at all.  You could sit in the green yǐzi, which does look much more comfortable, but then you might catch a glimpse of that horrifying shāfā.  The shock may kill you.

Did you find this exercise effective?  See the English only list of vocabulary words below and see how many of the words you can recall in Chinese.  Let me know how you liked this post by leaving a comment.

• carpet

• lampshade

• table

• sofa

• chair

• picture

• lamp

• television

Don't forget to check out this week's interactive vocabulary list.


Original photo by Derek Jensen (Tysto) (Own work (My own photo)) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Learning Through Song: Ni Wa Wa

In a previous post titled 10 Simple Ways to Make Language Learning a Lifestyle, we talked about a variety of ways to make language learning a natural part of daily life.  I strongly believe that memorizing long lists of vocabulary words is a poor way to permanently learn a language because those words are only committed to temporary memory and are quickly forgotten.  In contrast, using language daily and repetitively works.  To that end, this post highlights an interesting video I found on YouTube that ought to sear a few words into your brain to the extent that even if you wanted to forget them, you'd be out of luck.

The video below contains a children's song, "Ni Wa Wa" ("Mud Doll"), which, in my opinion, is pretty darn catchy.  Add to it the fact that there are children dancing around in some kind of field throwing a doll around and we're got ourselves a winner.  But don't jump to the video just yet - stick with me for a minute here because I want you to get the most out of this that you can.  Before we view the video, we're going to go over the lyrics and learn a few new words.  Then you'll be able to recognize the words as you follow along with the video, which is subtitled in pinyin as well as Chinese characters.  Don't worry about remembering all of the words right away - just read through them once or twice.  Many of the words repeat themselves throughout the song, so after reading through the lyrics a couple of times you may find that you're already starting to recognize and understand some of them.

Here are the lyrics in Chinese with detailed translation:

Ní wáwá ní wáwá

(mud doll, mud doll)

ní mud

wáwá doll

Yī ge ní wáwá

(a mud doll)

yī one

ge measure word (for more info, see my post about measure words)

**the words "yī" and "ge" together mean "a/an"

ní mud

wáwá doll

Yě yǒu nà méimáo

(also has eyebrows)

yě also

yǒu has/have

nà that/those (doesn't translate directly in this context)

méimáo eyebrows

Yě yǒu nà yǎnjīng

(also has eyes)

yě also

yǒu has/have

nà that/those (doesn't translate directly in this context)

yǎnjīng eyes

Yǎnjīng bú huì zhǎ

([her] eyes can't wink)

yǎnjīng eyes

bú not 

huì can

zhǎ wink

Ní wáwá ní wáwá

(mud doll, mud doll)

ní mud

wáwá doll

Yī ge ní wáwá

(a mud doll)

yīge a

ní mud

wáwá doll

Yě yǒu nà bízi

([she] also has a nose)

yě also

yǒu has/have

nà that/those (doesn't translate directly in this context)

bízi nose

Yě yǒu nà zuǐba

([she] also has a mouth)

yě also

yǒu has/have

nà that/those (doesn't translate directly in this context)

zuǐba mouth

Zuǐba bú shuōhuà

([but her] mouth doesn't speak)

zuǐba mouth

bú not 

shuōhuà talk

Tā shì ge jiǎ wáwá

(She is a fake doll)

tā she

shì is; are; to be

ge measure word

jiǎ fake

wáwá doll

Bú shì ge zhēn wáwá

([she] isn't a real doll)

bú not  

shì is; are; to be

ge measure word

zhēn real; really

wáwá doll

Tā méi yǒu qīn(g)'ài de māma

(she doesn't have a dear mother)

tā she

méi not; doesn't

yǒu has/have

qīn(g)'ài de dear; darling; beloved

māma mother 

Yě méiyǒu bàba

([she] also doesn't have a dear father)

yě also

méi not; doesn't

yǒu has/have

bàba father

Ní wáwá ní wáwá

(mud doll, mud doll)

ní mud

wáwá doll

Yī ge ní wáwá

(a mud doll)

yīge a

ní mud

wáwá doll

Wǒ zuò tā māma

(I'll be her mother)

wǒ I; me

zuò become; be; make; do

tā she

māma mother

Wǒ zuò tā bàba

(I'll be her father)

wǒ I; me

zuò become; be; make; do

tā she

bàba father

Yǒngyuǎn ài zhe tā

([I'll] love her forever; [I'll be] loving her forever)

yǒngyuǎn always; forever

ài love

zhe indicates a continuous action; "-ing"

tā her; she

Now go ahead and watch the video.  After watching it once or twice, play it again but instead of watching it, listen to it while you read through the lyrics above. 






If you enjoyed this post, or if you have an idea for a future post,  please let me know by leaving a comment below.

Don't forget to check out the interactive vocabulary list for this post.

Chinese for Helicopter Parents

Has little Timmy been in need of some serious adult supervision (jiāndū 监督) every moment of his life?  Do you cringe at the thought of him having to make even the most minute of decisions without your help (bāngzhù 帮助)?  Do you think that school is an evil place where children are hidden away from their parents - who should be free to sit next to them all day long coddling them and making sure they don't make spelling errors?  Well congrats to you - you're a helicopter (zhíshēngjī 直升机) parent (fùmǔ 父母)!


As a helicopter (zhíshēngjī) parent (fùmǔ), you of all people should be aware that knowledge of Mandarin Chinese is a must for any growing prodigy.  Why not pick some of it up yourself so you can teach it to your kid when you call to check on him (tā) in between each of his classes?  (Remember, it isn't hovering if you aren't there in person...)

And let's not forget to take the future into consideration.  You're going to need to listen in to grown up Timmy's business calls while he jockeys for clients in Shanghai.  He might just need you to sneak into the other room and listen in on the other phone to make sure he doesn't miss a single opportunity (jīhuì 机会) to tell those potential clients how great he is!

The most important word you're going to need to know is the word "perfect" (wánměi de 完美的).  What more needs to be said about your angelic boy aside from the fact that he's perfect (wánměi de)? Of course, explaining how perfect (wánměi de) he is will require hours and hours of very detailed anecdotes (that everyone obviously enjoys hearing!).

You'll also want to know the word "obstacle", as in "I have removed each and every obstacle (zhàngài 障碍) standing in the way of my son's happiness as they would have inevitably lead him to a life of crime and solitude."  Who needs problem solving skills with a mother like you who's so adept at, well, everything? You hero you!

And before you head off to call his teacher to make sure he was getting sufficient social interaction today (you wouldn't have to call if they would just let you stay for his classes...), make sure you pick up the word for "psychologist" (xīnlǐ yīshēng 心理医生) because a bright boy like yours, with an involved mother like yourself is certainly going to need one...


Did you enjoy this post?  Then you might also enjoy Mandarin for Mummies.


1.  jiāndū ("jyehn-doo") 监督 supervision; to supervise
Billy wasn't allowed to use the scissors without adult supervision (jiāndū).

2.  bāngzhù ("bahng-joo") 帮助 help; to help
Children whose parents are the most helpful usually need the most help (bāngzhù).


3.  zhíshēngjī ("juh-shung-jee") 直升机 helicopter
The helicopter hovered (zhíshēngjī) over the lake - it hovered (zhíshēngjī) and hovered (zhíshēngjī) and hovered (zhíshēngjī) and hovered (zhíshēngjī)...

4.  fùmǔ ("foo-moo") 父母 parent
The job of every parent (fùmǔ) is to make sure that their child never has to go through the horrifying trauma of making a mistake.

5.  jīhuì ("jih-hway") 机会 opportunity
Little Frankie finally had the opportunity (jīhuì) to eat a meal alone.
 
6.  wánměi de ("wahn-may duh") 完美的 perfect
Isn't this a perfect (wánměi de) day for hovering?

7.  zhàngài ("john-guy") 障碍 obstacle
Every obstacle (zhàngài) can be overcome - unless your mommy isn't there to help!

8.  xīnlǐ yīshēng ("shin-lee yee-shung") 心理医生 psychologist
A good psychologist (xīnlǐ yīshēng) is worth his weight in straight jackets. 

Don't forget to check out this week's interactive vocabulary list.

For more help with Mandarin pronunciation, click here.   

Image: U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Daniel Edgington [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

Measure Words Part One: Introduction

The Chinese have a far more complex system of measure words than we do in English.  In English we use universal terms like "a", "an" and "the" most of the time.  We do occasionally use more specific measure words like "flock" (a flock of geese) and "set" (a set of dishes), but we don't use them often and they are usually only used in reference to groups of things rather than singular objects.

In the Chinese language, unlike English, there are measure words for almost everything.  While the Chinese do have a general measure word "ge" (个), which is useful if you don't know the correct measure word to use in a given situation, almost every type of object or creature has its own specific measure word, and if you want to speak Chinese fluently, you'll need to learn these words.

Typically, a measure word comes after the numeral or other quantifier (one, two, this, that, etc.), so a noun with its measure word looks like this:

a puppy  yìzhī xiǎogǒu    一只小狗

In the phrase above, "yìzhī" could be translated "a".  "yìzhī" is composed of "yì" which is the word for "one" and "zhī", which is a measure word used for certain animals including puppies.

In this series of posts, we'll learn measure words that correspond with vocabulary for upcoming posts.  Future vocabulary words in other posts will now also include measure words which will be linked to the appropriate post from this series which explains the usage of those measure words.  The easiest way to learn measure words is to simply learn them as part of vocabulary words rather than treating them like separate words.

What follows is our first set of measure words with explanations as to their usage:

1.  ge - a general measure word to use if the correct measure word is unknown; this measure word is also used for people

2.  kuài - for things shaped like sheets; things that come in chunks or solid pieces; slices, sections, divisions, etc. of things (i.e. a slice of cake, etc.)

3.  zhǎn - for lamps

4.  tái  - for stage performances, machines, equipment, etc.

5.  zhāng - for flat things like paper, paintings, tables, maps, etc.

6.  bǎ - for objects with a handle or with something a person can hold; for things that can be grouped in bunches or bundles.

Feel free to leave questions or comments below. 

Don't forget to check out this week's interactive vocabulary list.


For more help pronouncing Mandarin words, click here.

Chinese for Errand Boys

Hey errand boy (suì cuī 碎催)!  Are things getting a little crazy around the office?  Still angry that your boss went a little "evil dictator" on you and told you to go fetch him a Twinkie from that Safeway on the other side of town (because the Twinkies from the Safeway right next to your office don't "taste the same")?  Why not learn a little Mandarin so you can tell him what you really think of him - without getting fired!

Won't it be therapeutic for you when you tell him he's crazy (fāfēng 发疯), right to his face?  He's asked you to polish his paperweights one too many times, and even though you think he's one tax (shuì) short of a tea party, you always smile and get right to work.  And let's not forget all those times he made you stay late at work making a hundred copies of one page because he couldn't be bothered to figure out how to have his printer print a page more than once!  Now you'll be able to tell him what a terrible (zāogāo 糟糕) human being he really is.  In fact, why not just sum it up with the simple phrase, "You make me sick." (Nǐ zhēn ràng wǒ ěxīn 你真让我恶心).  Let's break this phrase down so you can recycle some of it's parts for other fun phrases. "Nǐ (你)" means "you".  Combine it with the word for "to be" (shì 是) and you can say things like, "You're a half-wit" (Nǐ zhēn shì ā mù lín  你 真 是 阿木林).  The word for "half-wit" is "ā mù lín" ( 阿木林) Also, take note of the word "zhēn" (真) which means "real", "true", or "genuine" and also adds emphasis, so we're actually saying, "You're REALLY a half-wit." You told him!

Finally, the word "ràng" (让) from our phrase above (you make me sick!) means "to let" or "to make".  You can use this word for saying things like, "You make (ràng) children cry." or "You make (ràng) full grown adults have nightmares."  Oh the possibilities!

Well, it sounds like your ready to go release some pent up aggression.   Enjoy seeing your boss smile as you treat him to hearing some "fun Chinese phrases" you recently learned.  Won't he think you're a smarty pants!
A simple word of caution though - make sure he doesn't speak Chinese himself or you'll be spending the rest of your "career" eating Ramen and living out of your very own cardboard box.

1.  suì cuī ("sway tsooey") 碎催 errand boy
The errand boy (suì cuī) has finally had enough.

2.  fāfēng ("fah-fung") 发疯 crazy
His boss is a crazy (fāfēng) loon.

3.  zāogāo ("tzau-gau") 糟糕 terrible
The bosses secretary is just as terrible (zāogāo) as he is.

4.  nǐ ("nee") 你 you
If you (nǐ) can't beat 'em, get rich, buy the company and fire them.


5.  ěxīn ("uh-sheen") 恶心  sick; nauseated; nausea 
He felt nauseated (ěxīn) when he saw the stack of papers he needed to file.

6.  shì ("shih") 是 to be; is; are, am
The other errand boy is (shì) a kiss-up.

7.  ā mù lín ("ah-moo-leen") 阿木林 half-wit
If he wasn't such a half-wit (ā mù lín), he might get promoted.

8.  zhēn ("jehn") 真 real; true; genuine; really
I really (zhēn) hope my boss doesn't speak Chinese.

9.  ràng ("wrong") 让 to let; to make
If he ever let (ràng) me go home early, I'd think he was drunk.


Don't forget to check out this week's interactive vocabulary list.

For more help pronouncing Mandarin words, click here.

Image by Drew Morgan via Flickr is licensed via Creative Commons.

Mandarin for Mummies

Are you an ancient pharaoh, embalmed thousands of years ago, who has been finding tomb life a bit lonely?  Has your humble pyramid (jīnzìtǎ 金字塔) recently been excavated by Chinese archaeologists who don't speak your dialect of Ancient Egyptian?  Then it's time to put down that mummified cat and pick up some Mandarin!

Before you say anything else to your new friends, you're going to want to apologize for the dust (huīchén 灰尘).  The years you've spent sealed up in that underground chamber have taken a ghastly toll on your dwelling.  Would it have killed you to have picked up a broom now and again?  Ah, wait - you're already dead (sǐ 死).  How unfortunate.

If your guests seem a bit put off by your appearance, keep in mind that aging isn't pretty.  In addition to all those wrinkles and petrified parts your sporting, don't forget that you've also lost a few organs (qìguān 器官) since your days as king, and unless these particular archeologists are also lawyers, they're probably not used to being around people who are hollow inside.  Once the shock of your hideousness has worn off, welcome them to Egypt (Āijí 埃及) and offer them something to eat (chī 吃).  Your offer will, of course, be a formality at most, as there won't be much, if anything, edible in your pyramid (scarabs anyone?), but it's the thought that counts.  Furthermore, after staring at you for a few minutes your guests will have likely lost their appetites anyway. 

If you find it difficult to strike up a conversation, start by sharing a little about yourself.  Tell them how old you are (I'm 2000 years old - Wǒ liǎng qiān suì 我两千岁) and ask if they can share a little of what you've missed since you've been incapacitated.  You don't want to be the only mummy out there who is oblivious to the fact that "Benifer" is no more. How embarrassing!

Finally, be sure to invite your new friends to come back and visit again.  Promise them you'll find something more suitable to wear next time too (nemes and shendyts are so last millenium...).  If you're lucky, they'll come back soon with a whole army of museum curators in tow.  Now back to the sarcophagus with you!


Want to know what this blog is all about?  Check out How to Use This Blog.

Did you enjoy this post?  Then you might also enjoy Chinese for Errand Boys.
Enjoy learning through songs? Then you might like Learning Through Song: Ni Wa Wa 

1. huīchén ("hway-chen") 灰尘 dust
Dust (huīchén) allergies can kill if you live in a tomb.

2. Āijí ("eye-jee") 埃及 Egypt
Egypt (Āijí) isn't the only country that boasts a collection of mummies, but the ones in China don't have pyramids to brag about. 

3. sǐ ("sih") 死 dead
When a person has been dead (sǐ) as long as you, there's sure to be an odor. 

4. chī ("chih") 吃 to eat  
I prefer not to eat (chī) anything that has been entombed, but thank you for the offer.

5. qìguān ("chee-gwahn") 器官 organs
I seem to have misplaced my organs (qìguān). Have you excavated them?

6. jīnzìtǎ ("jeen-zee-tah") 金字塔 pyramid
This pyramid (jīnzìtǎ) represents the blood and sweat of a whole mess of slaves that I smacked around for a couple decades.

7. liǎng qiān ("lee-ong cheeyen") 两千 two thousand  
Two thousand (liǎng qiān) years ago, writing the year took less time. 

8. suì ("sway") 岁 age 
When you're my age (suì) , petrifying is an improvement.   

Don't forget to check out this week's interactive vocabulary list.

For more help pronouncing Mandarin words, click here.

Image by StrangeInterlude via Flickr is licensed under CC.